From a death sentence to a mere 10 year conviction - a young man who killed his married sister because he suspected her of having an affair simply because she was on the phone too long.

Court transcripts said the victim had been staying with the defendant at the time of the murder as her husband had been in prison for the previous two years for a criminal offense.

“The defendant noticed that his sister was talking on the phone for long hours and suspected that she might have been involved in an extramarital affair,” court papers said.

“He decided to get rid of her to defend his family’s honour and acquired a knife for that purpose.”

On the day of the incident, the court added, the defendant waited until three of his sister’s four children went to school, then entered her room and started stabbing her without a word. [source]

It baffles me - not the crime - but the way people think. Yes, to most men, talking on the phone for more than 4 minutes is a waste of time and any male who has long conversations on a phone is probably talking to a significant other (that’s just how we think) - but to simply apply this as justification, actually, worse, to apply this as reasoning is just. I don’t know. Is there a word for it? Has any language yet to invent the appropriate adjective?

I have struggled to understand the concept of honor in our society, and since I confess to living in an urban bubble where the same social and cultural dynamics are not as applicable as they are elsewhere in the Kingdom, I continue to struggle to understand how honor in Jordan is understood; is cleansed, and, more importantly, to what extent it is cheapened when it leads to death for the most frivolous of reasons. In these social environments when family honor is the most cherished of treasures, to what extent is it devalued when someone decides to kill his sister for talking too long on the phone, or even worse, for being abducted and raped?

Understanding it takes in to account that most Jordanians invest an immense sense of pride in honor and will destroy anything that tarnishes it. Thus, the young girl becomes the biggest liability - the biggest target and source of shame for a family. For all sexual transgressions are anchored to the young females of the family who are quickly married off in the name of preservation. And understanding that is, for me, difficult. I can’t claim to know what it’s like to live in these specific environments. I can’t claim to even imagine the difficulties that come with living in a community where your honor is essential to your co-existence. I can’t claim to understand how a 69-year old man could so easily shoot his daughter on her wedding day and…

…When the police and criminal prosecutor arrived at the scene, the father fired several rounds in the air, saying he was celebrating the killing of his daughter, an official source close to the investigation told The Jordan Times at the time of the incident.

“I have cleared the family’s name and cleansed my honour. Let everyone in my town know that I killed my daughter for this reason.” [source]

It just baffles me.

Perhaps the legal solution is no longer the right solution. Perhaps it is time to redefine honor. Perhaps it is time to shift mindsets by using the same weapon that motivates these killers: shame. Perhaps it is time to tie shame as the outcome of an honor crime rather than the crime being the path to overcoming or avoiding shame. For it’s not honor that is obviously the issue here, it is the shame that comes with that honor being tarnished.

It would be interesting to see a national campaign that takes the word “shame” to a whole new level. Something grassroots. Something simple and straight to the point. Something that creates an environment where someone who kills in the name of honor suffers more shame than he ever imagined possible. It would be interesting to see it applied to judges, tribunals and even any member of parliament who votes down any attempts by the government to change the law. It wouldn’t need to be a document or a petition - just a simple symbol. A brand. A brand that people can easily identify and will do anything in their power not to be caught dead being associated with it. A brand like a scarlet letter.